Simple Ghetto Workouts for NOOBS-Part 1

Firstly I would like to say that I am no tough guy(not yet). I am 6 foot tall, 155 lbs, and I am made up of 16% body fat(which is still average). But I would like to share some tips for all of you people who are in worse body conditions than me who would like to look better.

TIP 1:

You see, you can workout anywhere. You don't need to go to the gym to look normal. But you must make sure you stick to your daily schedule. For example, if you want to do cardio for 30 minutes, then make sure you spend exactly 30 mintues on it. Don't blackout or die halfway.

TIP 2:

Don't binge after a workout. You think you can burn more calories than you what you eat meh.
YOUR HEAD! A simple Snickers bar is equal to 280 calories. How long to run 280 calories?
I'm not sure but it will definitely take about half an hour for slow runners.


OK that's all for today. Buh-bye..

Eh..who ate all the pie? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

They never learn

What do these two people have in common?

They are great leaders of their time. But both were foolish enough to invade Russia without a proper strategy. And the sad thing is Hitler did not learn from Napoleon's mistake. The fuhrer's largest mistake of executing Operation Barborossa had resulted in the downfall of Nazi Socialism.

JOKES

Your mama's so fat...she stepped on a scale and it said:


TO BE CONTINUED

Worried

As we all know, the US undergraduate application deadline is over. Some of my fellow Jpa friends are all very anxious now. I advice you people to stop fretting about whether you get accepted to all the top universities and stop listening to Miss Nat who loves scaring people. Pessimistic people like Miss Nat can rot in the past with her so-called love for," Nordic and Aryan cult supremacy". LOL

I myself am quite worried now. My transcripts have reached the University of Washington(based on the FEDEX trace), but they haven't update my status yet. I hope for the best for my application as University of Washington( WR#59) seems to be my only hope (forget Cornell and Carnegie Mellon-chances are nearly 0%).

I hope the best for my fellow Jpa friends too(Alicia, Jonathan, Shin Yee, Penguin, Mama, Khairil, KeAt Yee and Rainbow and so on..)


And MAMA- PROPOSE TO THE SKINNY HOMO SOON AH LOL!!!!!!!!!

SHIT HAPPENS

It had been a while since I updated this blog. I have been pretty lazy these few weeks, still trying to adjust to the 2nd semester in ADP.

I am pretty sad when I found out that my parents gave away Pippy(my beloved dog) to a couple in KL. My mother wasnt very fond of that dog, sometimes even calling that creature," furry piece of shit machine", so I wasnt surprised that she gave away the dog without consulting me first. To hell with that decision!

Now let me describe my current college life. I am pretty free actually(For the moment). So free that I could borrow Stephen's King "Everything's Eventual" book to read in my dingy,dusty Casa Subang bedroom. And I thought THTR 101 was pretty good, even though it was fucking weird at the beginning.

And then I met another friend. His name is Joshua. He workouts( or tries hard to) in ECA. I also workout in the cheapass fucking rotten-equipment shithole sometimes, but I hardly feel pumped up today. Imagine: You used to go to FF.You pay Rm175 a month. You get to use state-of-the art equipments. You can also laugh at those fat chicks who go there for free. AND NOW YOU END UP IN A FUCKING FREE RUSTY SHIT GYM BECAUSE YOUR DADDY SAID "FUCK, I M NOT PAYING FOR THAT SHIT YOU SKINNY RETARD! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Well..life really torment peopl, you know. Fucking torment people like me.
I'm gonna go to the pretty vapid microecons class now. And take my darn tommygun and finish em' off. lol. Just kidding.

Terrifying goosebumps-inducing tales..

STORY #1= completed

TITLE=A TEACHER's GIFT Length=6 A4 size Pages

This short story is about a young man who just came out of prison paying a visit to his dear ol' teacher who used to teach him in secondary school. In the end, the man decided to settle his score with the teacher by presenting her with a gift which she would never forget for the rest of her life.


Here are some of the early comments by some people who first read my story:


"Very powerful. JA NICHOLAS combines the essence of suspense and horror by inducing a little humor in it-thereby creating a satirical yet funny story which pleases all kind of readers."

Tee,18(also known as the racist-pig-hating WAffen SS-private-wannabe-torturer clown)

"Entertaining and it reminds me of some of the nagging teachers I used to hate."

Andrew Lee,18